The argument fizzles...

A little nugget I've discovered...

The argument fizzles when I stop trying to defend myself. This works whether I'm right or wrong in the situation. 

It's the moment when I reel in my emotions & understand that I love this person more than how I'm treating them right now & there is a better, more productive way to have this discussion. 

When did proving my point become more important than loving this person? 

Discussions can be had without arguing, but arguing never produces real discussions. It can only produce hurt & confusion because arguments are all based in pride. The pride of being right or defending your own actions.

Pride is sneaky & insidious. It sneaks into your life disguised as hurt feelings or justification. It wants to keep the argument alive until the other person either apologizes or concedes.  

The Bible on the other hand tells us that pride brings destruction & that God resists it. It also tells us to be offended at nothing.

That's the goal we move towards. Letting him love us, so that we can love others. 

It doesn't mean we'll never have a spirited discussion, but if we can learn to discuss out of love then not only will our topic most likely get resolved, but our relationships will flourish. 

People are worth our patience & our relationships are worth our self-control. 

1 Cor 13:4 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

James 4:6

But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, 

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

It was a Wednesday.

This time last year, I didn't know it, but it was going to be the worst time of my life. 

Abigail was getting ready to go to Heaven. We spent all night loving her, being with her & in the early morning she went to be with Jesus.

We went back to the Ronald McDonald House & slept for a few hours, packed up our stuff & headed home.

I remember that long drive home. It was a Wednesday. 

I remember it was a Wednesday because as we got closer to home we both looked at each other & said, "I kind of want to be in church." 

We parked around the back of the building, went through a side door & sat in the back office on a couch & just listened to the message being preached. There was a lot happening in that dark, quiet back office. We didn't hear all of the message, we didn't participate in praise & worship, we had no offering to bring, but we just needed to be in church. 

I don't think we knew it at the time, but I truly believe that was the foundation of our healing. It was as if we slammed a stake in the ground & said, "We're going to keep doing what we know to do."

It wasn't always a pretty road to walk. We didn't always feel like continuing to do what was right & sometimes we just didn't. But we never stayed there long, we knew the only way out was by doing what was right.

I can't imagine my life without my church. Not only is my church family the very best of the best, but the truth & the standard & the hope that I have gained from immersing myself in church life has kept me. 

We weren't meant to do life alone. We weren't meant to go through the hard stuff alone. We weren't meant to celebrate alone. God wants to bring us into a family. There is strength in numbers. Don't run away from the one place that tells you the truth & helps your faith. Even if the words feel like they sting, don't remove yourself from the House. Faith comes by hearing & hearing by the Word of God. Stay where the Word is preached, stay where your faith can grow, & you'll see your healing come. 

Psalm 133:1-3

A Song of Ascents. Of David. 

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! 

It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, 

on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! 

It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! 

For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.

check it

If your marital connection is struggling.. i.e. fights, lack of desire, stress, tragedy, or short fuses...

Check your spiritual connection.

It might seem like an obvious thing to say, but in the middle of a an argument who really wants to go to God? 

Do it anyways. 

You love your husband/wife, you know you do - so start acting like it! 

God is love. Bring Him into your marriage & see how He works, see how Love really works!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.