Grace

This last Saturday was National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. I saw many posts on Instagram & Twitter celebrating the lives of sweet babies that were lost too soon & it was a wonderful reminder that we're all in this together & that our babies will never be forgotten. 

But I gotta tell ya, this week I got something that meant so much more to me. God spoke to me & I've never felt stronger or more liberated. He told me it's time; "stop being a baby about your baby." I can't tell you what those words lit inside of me. 

When God speaks His truth into your heart it doesn't just make you feel good, it gives you something to grab hold of. His Word is a lamp to our feet & a light to our path. Instead of crawling through life after being knocked down, His Word causes us to stand up, stiffen our resolve & take that next step of faith. 

His Word is like no other because with it comes the grace we've needed all along to grasp the truth. People can tell you, experience can tell you, pain can tell you, so many things can tell you, but when Jesus speaks to you - grace comes. 

Oh, that wonderful grace that makes it all possible. The grace that gives us power to stomp on what tries to hold us down. Don't stop until it comes to you. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, don't stop until you hear His voice full of truth & grace & love. 

expansion

It's amazing how much the heart can expand. 

It heals, it forgives, it loves, it grows. The heart is a beautiful thing. 

Of course, it does also hurt...but the ability of the heart to heal is amazing. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my Abigail, but the memories get happier & the pain gets less as my heart heals. 

I felt like I was doomed to pain for the rest of my life after my little girl went to Heaven, but God's promises are true & He really does give you joy for mourning & beauty for ashes. 

I thought I was doomed to have a "pang" in my heart every time I heard that another one of my friend's was pregnant & yet now, I feel as if I can love their babies even more. 

I thought I was doomed to cry every time a new baby was born & I held that new life in my arms, but my heart grew & I'm loving those little babies with all the joy in my heart. 

I won't lie to you & say it's been all peaches & cream - I'm still healing - but God is faithful & the more I allow Him to love me, the more I find my heart expanding and the things that once brought pain, now bring joy.

So don't think you're the first to burst into sad tears & not happy ones when your friends tell you their good news. You'll feel happy for them, sad for you, guilty for feeling sad & a million other things. Go ahead & cry, go ahead & feel those emotions, it's okay, it's normal - and then go to God & let Him continue His work in you. 

Don't hide yourself away from the happy things of life. As much as it hurts, it's part of the healing, and who better to go through it with than those who love you most? We're all put here together to help each other do this thing called life. 

Let those that God has given you help you & let God do His work.

He has all the hope you need. 

-Amie