expansion

It's amazing how much the heart can expand. 

It heals, it forgives, it loves, it grows. The heart is a beautiful thing. 

Of course, it does also hurt...but the ability of the heart to heal is amazing. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my Abigail, but the memories get happier & the pain gets less as my heart heals. 

I felt like I was doomed to pain for the rest of my life after my little girl went to Heaven, but God's promises are true & He really does give you joy for mourning & beauty for ashes. 

I thought I was doomed to have a "pang" in my heart every time I heard that another one of my friend's was pregnant & yet now, I feel as if I can love their babies even more. 

I thought I was doomed to cry every time a new baby was born & I held that new life in my arms, but my heart grew & I'm loving those little babies with all the joy in my heart. 

I won't lie to you & say it's been all peaches & cream - I'm still healing - but God is faithful & the more I allow Him to love me, the more I find my heart expanding and the things that once brought pain, now bring joy.

So don't think you're the first to burst into sad tears & not happy ones when your friends tell you their good news. You'll feel happy for them, sad for you, guilty for feeling sad & a million other things. Go ahead & cry, go ahead & feel those emotions, it's okay, it's normal - and then go to God & let Him continue His work in you. 

Don't hide yourself away from the happy things of life. As much as it hurts, it's part of the healing, and who better to go through it with than those who love you most? We're all put here together to help each other do this thing called life. 

Let those that God has given you help you & let God do His work.

He has all the hope you need. 

-Amie

~friends~

I don't at all want this blog to only be about the hardest days of my life, I want you to see that joy really does come in the "morning." & even though my "morning" seemed to be a few months coming, it has come & joy is here. 

I know that God is working in me a healing that no one else can do, but I also see the importance of surrounding yourself with people who will encourage you & hug you & yes, even challenge you.

When you're in the middle of quicksand you can't pull yourself out, you need friends! The man in the Bible who was crippled needed friends to take him to Jesus so he could get healed! 

There were so many days I wanted nothing to do with friends or joy or laughs, but it was the people God had put around me who helped me walk through it all. 

I'm not sure they really even realize what they did for me. But in the moments where I felt like God wasn't near, I had everyone around me telling me He was, helping me along, praying for me - how can you say thank you for that? It's life. 

Isolation will destroy your life, but so will surrounding yourself with wrong people telling you the wrong things. The relationships you create will be life or death. The Bible tells us to guard our heart because it is the wellspring of life. If I had surrounded myself with people who only ever felt sorry for me (even though their intentions were only good), sorrow would be the only thing my heart could produce. But because I have an amazing husband, family & church family - people who are full of faith, & people that don't quit - my heart was filled with that same faith & determination, so that's what came out of me (eventually!). 

I'm not trying to make it sound like it was easy, but it was right & it was life. God's Word doesn't promise a perfect life, but He surely promises victory over the junk that does happen in this life. I'd rather have victory over the bad things that happen in my life, than just go on living with them for the rest of my days. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is - GET IN A CHURCH! Surround yourself with faith-filled people, fill yourself with the Word of God that's preached from the pulpit, & believe that God is doing His work!

-Amie